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Brehm FBLA update

"This past Wednesday evening, Suzy Ventura and I took a group of students to the Career Fair held at Carbondale Community High School. There were more than 50 booths set up representing different careers. The students were able to walk from booth to booth and ask questions as well as collect information being handed out. We took nine students, and they all seemed to get something from the Career Fair. Most of them came away with a better understanding of what job skills would be required as well as schooling that would be required.

"Suzy and I were both so pleased with the way our students conducted themselves when asking questions and walking around from booth to booth. We even received comments from the different vendors about how our students from Brehm were so much more mature in their actions and how good they were at asking questions compared to the other high school students who attended. We are very proud of our students."

Brehm FBLA advisor and faculty member Mary Hart

Brehm students tour SIUC museum

Brehm Preparatory School students toured The University Museum at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Ill.

Among the many exhibits they saw were:

• Frederick Hart's sculptures: American sculptor, Frederick Hart (1943-1999) gained international stature for his "Creation Sculptures" for the Washington National Cathedral, for his "Three Soldiers" Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and for his pioneering use of clear acrylic resin and a process by which one image was embedded within another.
  
• Andy Warhol's "Little Presents:" These photographs (52 Silver Gelatin Prints and 104 Polaroids, taken by Andy Warhol between 1972 and 1985) were donated to the University Museum, SIUC, in 2007. They represent a relatively unknown body of Warhol's artwork, which were often the studies for portraits and other compositions. Former SIUC Photographic Historian, Dr. Jordy Jones interprets the images.
• Pop Art: A number of well-known and lesser-known Pop Artists are represented in the Museum's print collection. The Museum was able to frame these works for exhibition through a $10,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. The grant will also help bring area high school students to SIUC to study and to create their own exhibit based on the Museum's works.

Brehm students hear from successful businessman who overcame dyslexia

Nathan Stooke, CEO of Wisper ISP, Inc., a wireless Internet company, in Belleville, IL, recently visited Brehm Preparatory School, where he spoke to students about his life, work and struggles with dyslexia.

Nathan was raised in O’Fallon, IL.

“Because of my dyslexia, I really struggled in school. I hated doing homework,” Nathan said. “In elementary school, I used to throw fits about doing my homework. It would take me four times longer to do my homework than it would most other

students because it was such a struggle. Then, I realized that whether I had a bad attitude with dyslexia or a good attitude with dyslexia, I still had dyslexia, so why not have a good attitude about it.

“Once I accepted my dyslexia, it still took me twice as long as others to do homework, but I had a better attitude about it, and attitude is everything.”

Nathan’s mother was key in helping him adjust his study habits to accommodate his dyslexia.

“In high school, my mom would record herself reading my books, so I could listen to them anytime, over and over again, especially driving to and from swim practice for two hours a day,” Nathan said. “In high school, I learned that dyslexia is a gift; it gave me the drive to prove myself.”

Nathan graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, and came to Southern Illinois University, to study computer science and compete on the university’s swim team. Nathan was also a member of the U.S. Swim Team, ranked third in the world in 1997 for his 25km (15.5 miles) race abilities.

While attending SIU, Nathan joined SIU’s Achieve Program

– a comprehensive program of academic support for students with learning disabilities and/or attention deficits. Through that program, Nathan said he really honed his skills at turning his dyslexia into an advantage.

“Because of my dyslexia, I was able to take untimed tests. So, while other students were given an hour or two to take an exam, I could take as long as I needed to fully understand each question, because I read slower,” Nathan said. “I would take my time, and read each question repeatedly until I felt comfortable with answering the question. I once took 14 hours to complete a Calculus 2 exam, which I got one of the highest grades that anyone had ever received.”

Other ways Nathan has turned his dyslexia into an advantage are:

• He got to know his teachers better. “Since I told them toward the beginning of each class that I had dyslexia, and worked with them throughout the semester to help me understand the materials better, I became well acquainted with my teachers,” Nathan said. “And, those relationships have helped me along the way.”
• He built a large support system. “I had the support of my family, friends, teachers and more. They all knew how much I struggled, but they also saw how I worked really hard and never gave up,” Nathan said. “Without their support, I couldn’t be where I am today.”
• He learned determination and perseverance. “Nothing is as hard to deal with as my dyslexia,” he said. “So, I know I can overcome anything.”

After graduating with a 3.95 GPA in 1998 with a bachelor’s degree in computer science with a minor in mathematics, Nathan went on to pursue a master’s in business administration from SIU, where he graduated with a 4.0 in 2000.

“With my dyslexia, I discovered that while I struggled with reading, I excelled with technology. While working on my bachelor’s at SIU, I sold computers out of my dorm room, and I was successful at it, calling my company ‘Stookeware,’" he said. “Then, I ventured into database design and programming, and from that I developed recruiting software for the U.S. Coast Guard.”

In 2003, Nathan started Wisper ISP, Inc., in his garage. Wisper now employs 21, has more than 118 broadcast points and serves about 3,200 customers who live or work near the St. Louis and Illinois metro-east area. Wisper offers Internet services, network solutions, custom connections, Web services and more.

“I love what I do, and I wouldn’t be where I am without dyslexia. It drove me to succeed,” he said. “When people told me I wouldn’t get a 4.0 in high school, I did. When they said I wouldn’t graduate from graduate school with a master’s in business administration, I did, and with a 4.0 GPA. When they said my small startup business couldn’t compete with the ‘big guys,’ we did and continue to do so.”

Aisin Manufacturing donates to Brehm Robotics Team

Coordinator of Development Russell Williams accepts a

check from Glenn Edwards and Cheri Romonsky of Aisin

Manufacturing for their sponsorship of Brehm's Robotics Team.

For the past three years, Aisin Manufacturing has partnered with the Brehm Robotics Program.

Aisin Manufacturing Illinois, LLC (AMI) is one of three Aisin plants located in Marion, Illinois. AMI manufactures a wide range of products for some of the most demanding customers in the automotive industry including Toyota, General Motors, Lexus and Mitsubishi. These products include sunroofs, side and back door components, center pillar garnishes and door handles.

For information on how you can impact Robotics or other Brehm programs, contact Russell Williams, Coordinator of Development, at 618.457.0371 or rwilliams@brehm.org

Team Megahurts to configure Dune Buggy to drive autonomously

With the struggles of raising capital and support this year to support Brehm Preparatory School's FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) Robotics Competition Team Megahurts, the team is focusing on some projects that have fallen by the wayside, which are less financially demanding.

The first is to bring the Dune Buggies back to operational status and configure one to drive autonomously! That's correct, Team Megahurts will be training a new class of high school students interested in robotics & STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) by designing, building and integrating an autonomous driver control system in one of the team's off road buggies.

The concept is simple, but the execution is a very complicated process, especially since safety is a major concern. In principle, the larger buggy will be manually driven, while the smaller buggy follows autonomously - that means no one will be driving it!

Some of the problems the students will have to solve are object avoidance, evaluation of risk/danger factors, fusion of sensor data, locating and tracking of the lead buggy, and gracefully and safely handling system failures.

This project provides a great outlet for our advanced students and all of our newcomers. The first couple of days the team met, they were introduced to basic mechanics and engine maintenance.

The students removed any visibly damaged parts, drained and changed all of the fluids, then reassembled the radiator hoses and any other damaged or worn parts. Still left for repair are the ignition system and right front control arm. We expect to have the engine running within the next week. The students seemed to enjoy themselves and are very anxious to take it for a spin.

Brehm students attend Valentine Dance

Brehm Preparatory School's Student Council hosted "Love's a Mystery," a dance for sweethearts for the Valentine's Day holiday. Doors opened at 7pm. The dance ended at 9pm for RTS1 students and 10pm for RTS2 students. Only Tier Level 2 and above could attend the event.

Chrissy Strusz with the PACT department and students set up a "Crazy Photo Booth" for students and staff to dress up for and use wacky props in their photos.

Student Council members purchased Venetian-style masks for students to wear at the dance. Attendees were encouraged to "wear old-fashioned clothing - think Phantom of the Opera."

Refreshments were provided during the event. Fun was had by all!

Strategic planning retreat held at Brehm

Brehm Preparatory School and OPTIONS staff and faculty, parents of past and present students, board of trustees members and others participated in a strategic planning retreat recently.

Brehm stakeholders, dedicated to realizing a desired future they designed together, worked together to reflect on the past, organize their thoughts, identify what's important at Brehm, and reach an agreement on the future they would like to live out at Brehm.

Brehm engages its stakeholders in strategic planning each year to improve focus among all participants; promote collaboration within Brehm and with partners outside of Brehm; define measurements of success; translate strategies into programs, projects, products and services; and foster accountability among participants.

The strategic plan is a critical step in establishing an effective vision that articulates the organization intent, a clarifying mission that articulates the organization purpose, and identifies strategic objectives/goals against which a measure of progress can be made. Using the strategic plan as its guide, Brehm stakeholders can undertake the identification of efforts that support the strategies and formulate tactical plans of action to implement the efforts.

Dennis Bellafiore, Ph.D., president of ISMS Limited, a Pennsylvania-based consulting company, served as the moderator of the strategic planning retreat.

Brehm basketball player nominated to McDonalds All American team

Brehm Preparatory School senior, Bruce Barron, was nominated for the 2011 McDonald’s All American Boys Basketball Team. A senior at Brehm, Bruce is a 6’4” point guard, who recently signed a letter of intent to play basketball at the University of Oregon.

Katie and Jason Short, representing the Short family’s nine area McDonald’s restaurants, presented Bruce with a certificate highlighting the honor recently at Brehm Preparatory School’s gymnasium.

“We are extremely proud to be able to honor Bruce with this nomination,” Katie said. “He is a tremendous basketball player, and we are excited and honored to be able to recognize not only his achievements, but also the achievements of Brehm Preparatory School.”

While Bruce was not chosen to be on the 2011 McDonald’s All American Boys Basketball Team, he was a finalist.

“It is a very prestigious honor to be nominated,” said Brehm prep basketball team head coach Aaron Lee. “We are so very proud of Bruce. Our entire school stands behind him and supports him.”

Keeping our students healthy this winter

Winter is making its presence known once again around Brehm's campus with glistening snow here and there, cold temperatures and, of course, the occasional cold or flu bug. Faculty and staff members are being diligent about trying to keep these bugs at bay, but we could always use the help of our students' parents and family members.

As our staff, faculty and students spend so much time together indoors, it is hard to make it through the winter without battling some type of illness. However, there are ways our students can combat cold and flu season without missing a beat this winter. Nursing Administrator at Brehm, Jeannine Banning, R.N., M.S.Ed., has provided some tips to encourage your children to follow:

• Wash your hands. While it might seem like a simple request, encouraging your child to wash his/her hands may prevent them from spreading germs.
• Cover your mouth. Encourage your child to cover his/her mouth when coughing or sneezing, and to wash their hands afterwards, if possible.
• Stay hydrated. If your child drinks eight 8-ounce glasses of water each day, they will be able to flush out their system, including the illnesses that might enter their body during this cold and flu season.
• Stay active. Brehm offers so many activities for your child to participate in. Encourage them to get out there and stay active!
• Don't eat or drink after others. There are so many ways for germs to be passed around while at school, and eating or drinking after others is the easiest way. Help us help them stop the spread of germs by encouraging them not to eat or drink after other people.

Brehm has a long-standing policy to isolate contagious illnesses as much as possible to reduce the likelihood of infecting other students. If your child has a potentially serious illness, such as Strep or Mono, you will be contacted to bring your child home for recuperation. This measure helps the student recuperate more fully and comfortably and diminishes the risk of spreading the illness to others.

Students create beautiful ceramic art

Brehm Preparatory School students created incredible ceramic pieces of art during visual arts classes. The students made ceramic sculpture figurines "loosely based on ancient artwork of different civilizations," said teacher Wade Brady.

The students began learning ceramic hand-building techniques about six weeks ago that culminated in this complex figurine sculpture project.

"The unit started out with learning how to build a coil coffee cup and a slab candle holder, and finally moved into design. It all came together for this fin

al project using all the techniques," Wade said. "It is one of the most successful projects that I have seen from my classes. I am very proud of the students and their work."

Brehm understands that a creative outlet is crucial for its students, so students are encouraged to explore the arts with our talented instructors. Brehm students produce high-quality artwork that often wins awards at local and regional art shows. Traditional art classes include:

• Painting
• Collage
• 3-D art
• Silk-screening
• and other creative techniques

Video released of paintball team in action

Brehm Preparatory School's paintball team created a video from the footage they captured while participating in "The Zombie Conflict" at Bailey's Battlefield in Niangua, Missouri in October.

The video shows the students not only having fun, but also working together as a team.

Students visit health career fair

Brehm Preparatory School students attended the 16th Annual Health Careers Showcase at John A. Logan College.

They attended sessions that introduced the specific health career, wages for those careers, and employment trends. Some of the sessions students were most impressed with were: Veterinarian Technology, Cardiac Medical Sonography, Dental Hygiene, Emergency Medical Services, Nursing and several other fields.

Students were able to listen and ask questions to professionals as well as students who are currently studying in these fields. They also were taken on tours of the nursing and dental departments located on JALC campus.

For more information about John A. Logan College in Carterville, Ill., visit www.jalc.edu.

How can the new dietary guidelines help Brehm students make healthier choices?

By Melissa Banz, MS, RD, LDN

Dietitian, Brehm Preparatory School

Lifestyles that are focused on consuming fewer calories, eating nutrient dense (healthy) foods and being active can help you attain and maintain a healthy weight, reduce your risk of chronic disease and promote overall health.

The new 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans reflect these strategies (for more information visit www.dietaryguidelines.gov). Below is a preview of some of the tips:

• Enjoy your food, but eat less.
• Consume more nutrient-dense foods
• Make half your plate fruits and vegetables
• Switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk
• Include whole grain foods to most of your meals
• Eat more seafood (and other lean proteins)
• Compare foods with sodium, saturated and trans fat, added sugar and refined grains – choose foods with lower numbers
• Drink water instead of sugary drinks

How is Brehm promoting these messages with your children? Brehm hosts discussion groups where students can talk about these topics over lunch on Fridays.

In January, we discussed general recommendations for healthy eating for teens, where we discussed many topics, including:

• Why is healthy eating important?
• What foods they should eat more of.
• Strategies for a healthy weight.
• We’ve looked at how healthy eating translates to their “plate:" ½ the plate should be full of fruits and vegetables, a ¼ full of whole grains and the remaining ¼ with a lean protein.
• We’ve shared strategies for eating less. For example, drinking 1-2 glasses of water before a meal; eating a healthy breakfast; not skipping meals; and tracking what you eat and when you are active.

This month we will focus on identifying their individual calories needs, tracking what they are eating and comparing that to the new 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans.

Brehm also meets the Dietary Guidelines by offering a salad bar that provides a variety of green, red and orange vegetables and fruits. Students should be encouraged to fill half their plate full of fruits and vegetables before filling the remaining half with the lunch or dinner offered.

Brehm offers low fat milk and yogurt with every meal; teens should be encouraged to choose low fat dairy foods more often in order to meet their calcium needs. The kitchen staff is helping by including more whole grains and seafood to the menu and cooking with less fat and added sugar.

Melissa Banz has been a registered dietitian since May 2001, working in community nutrition. She graduated from the University of Nevada-Reno with a bachelor's of science in dietetics and then received a master's in science in community nutrition from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale. She currently works with the Department of Human Services as a nutrition consultant providing training, education, consultation, and technical assistance to the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC) and other maternal and child health programs. Her experiences emphasize individualized, patient-centered counseling and training and the development of effective educational materials. For the last few years, she has been using her experience in community nutrition to consult with private businesses to help individuals and families live a healthier lifestyle.

Brehm alum to publish memoir

Tessa Koller, a 2004 graduate of Brehm Preparatory School, has made a big splash in the art and fashion design worlds, and is on the verge of publishing her first book - a memoir of her life, called "Branches." The book encompasses a recent history of her life, including her struggles with heart disease and a rare disease known as DiGeorge Syndrome, and how she turned to her passion for art and fashion during her times of struggle.

The book is tentatively scheduled to be released in February 2011. Here is an excerpt from her book: "Amazingly, prayers got answered, and I started living. The second I thought life was over, it began in every way possible."

After facing the threat of a second heart surgery, Tessa said she turned to art and fashion to relieve stress.

"Painting became a mediation to calm my nerves about the surgery. As I worked on this large bod of oil paintings as well as a line of clothes, I felt as though I had transformed," she said. "I discovered what I truly wanted to do in my life. For four months straight, I did nothing but produce this work. Art and design were all I could do to get by."

Tessa is the owner of Tessko Designs.

"From drawing, illustration, photography, oil painting, and fashion design, I have found strength in creating artwork that shapes my everyday life," she said. "My mission is not simply to sell merchandise; it is to convey unique ideas through art and fashion and help people be more in tune with themselves."

Tessa has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald and many other newspapers. She has had gallery exhibits of her oil paintings and drawings throughout Illinois and Wisconsin and is simultaneously promoting her clothing lines.

For more information about Tessa, her art, fashion or book, or to contact her, visit www.tesskodesigns.com.

Brehm students create art on campus

Nan Novara's art class at Brehm School studied Christo Vladimirov Javacheff, whose environmental works of art included the wrapping of the Reichstag in Berlin and the Pont-Neuf bridge in Paris.

To delve deeper into the study of Christo's work, students created their own environmental works of art throughout the Brehm campus.

For more information on Brehm's art program, click here.

Brehm featured on radio

Dr. Richard Collins, executive director of Brehm Preparatory School, was interviewed by Tom Miller with WJPF AM 1340.

The interview was about Brehm's upcoming workshops for educators, parents, professionals, etc. and the effort Brehm is making on becoming an educational resource for area residents.

Tom Miller is the program director of WJPF AM 1340.

Brehm to host workshops for educators

Accomplished and award-winning educator, C. Wilson Anderson Jr., will present a series of dynamic and informative educator workshops at Brehm Preparatory School in February.

Educators, home school teachers, administrators, paraprofessionals and others are invited to attend these workshops, as well as psychologists who want to learn more about reading, curriculum and effective curriculum delivery.

On Wednesday, February 2, C. Wilson Anderson Jr. will present “Teaching the Subject Matter to Students who are Struggling with Reading, Written Expression and Spelling” at Brehm Preparatory School’s Dining Facility from 1pm to 4pm.

This practical, individualized workshop helps teachers modify textbooks, materials and curriculum presentations without watering down curriculum content. Teachers will gain skills to meet the needs of ALL students, especially those hard to reach and teach, and the "fall through the cracks children.” Teachers bring their classroom texts. Appropriate for grades 1-12. This workshop is eligible for graduate level credits through Baker University.

On Saturday, February 5, C. Wilson Anderson Jr. will present “Multisensory Teaching in Reading, Written Expression, Spelling, Arithmetic and Vocabulary” workshop at the Brehm Preparatory School’s Dining Facility from 9am to noon.

Over 90% of the teachers are visual learners, yet their students are one-third tactile-kinesthetic learners, and one-third auditory learners, and one-third of the students learn the way the teachers do! The students can’t change the way they learn best, but teachers can change the way they teach and meet the academic needs of all of their students.

Participants will be lead through a series of multisensory activities and strategies that are appropriate in the regular classroom. Participants will have the opportunity to lead and practice these activities. This is a “hands on” workshop for teachers, parents, paraprofessionals, and other people who want to learn more about meeting the academic needs of students who don’t learn like their teachers did.

Those who attend these workshops at Brehm will be eligible to receive CPDUs from the Illinois State Board of Education. All participants are requested to bring a novel or textbook that is difficult for their students.

The cost of these workshops is $50 for each workshop. Reservations are required as space is limited. Checks may be written to Brehm Preparatory School.

C. Wilson Anderson Jr., MAT, is a fellow of the Orton-Gillingham Academy. He is the president of Education Consultants of the Midwest, Inc. He was a junior and senior high school English and social studies teacher in Minnesota for 28 years. Anderson received a bachelor’s of arts from St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minn., and a master’s in special education from Augustana College in Sioux Falls, SD. He has been honored by the Minnesota Association for Children with Learning Disabilities as a General Educator of the Year, served as the president of the Orton Dyslexia Society (now known as the International Dyslexia Association), worked as a LD Specialist and director of teacher education for the Menninger Clinic Center for Learning Disabilities.

For more information about these workshops, please contact Dalus Kulich, Coordinator of Communications, at 457-0371 ext. 1309 or dkulich@brehm.org.

Introducing Brehm School’s new dietitian

By Melissa Banz, Dietitian, Brehm Preparatory School

Research indicates that good nutrition for students can lead to better academic performance, prevent childhood and adolescent health problems (such as iron deficiency, low calcium intake, dental caries and obesity), and improve behavioral problems.

Also, establishing healthy habits now lowers your child’s risk for future chronic diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Children who learn to live healthy, live longer, more productive lives.

My name is Melissa Banz, and I’m a dietitian working with Brehm to enhance the school environment to ensure that it supports a healthy school nutrition environment. I have conducted reviews of the menus and food supplies to ensure that they meet the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, set forth by the United States Department of Agriculture.

We are also working on ways to promote healthier choices to students. I’ve already talked to some students about healthy eating during our new “Lunch and Learn” discussions.

I look forward to working with the students at Brehm to bring about some exciting additions to the menus and school environment! Please support us this New Year as we work to promote these healthier choices throughout the school.

Check out what’s on the menu:

• Lean meats – Each day there will be at least one lean meat choice: skinless chicken breast (baked or grilled – not fried), vegetarian (meatless) entrée or low fat cold cuts.
• Fruits and vegetables – Each day, the salad bar features fresh berries and other delicious fresh fruits and vegetables. When canned fruits or vegetables are provided, they will not have any added sugar or salt. Hot vegetables will be served seasoned – not buttered.
• Whole grains – Grains will fill a quarter of your child’s plate with at least one serving of whole grain rich food, like whole grain pasta, bread or brown rice. These will be seasoned – not buttered.
• Milk and dairy products – Low fat varieties of milk will be offered at every meal. In addition, the salad bar will offer low fat cottage cheese and yogurt.
• Other foods – Low fat or fat-free dressings, sour cream, gravies and other condiments will be used when available. Products and cooking methods will aim to reduce the amount of saturated and sodium provided during lunch and dinner meals.

Melissa Banz has been a registered dietitian since May 2001, working in community nutrition. She graduated from the University of Nevada-Reno with a bachelor's of science in dietetics and then received a master's in science in community nutrition from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale. She currently works with the Department of Human Services as a nutrition consultant providing training, education, consultation, and technical assistance to the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC) and other maternal and child health programs. Her experiences emphasize individualized, patient-centered counseling and training and the development of effective educational materials. For the last few years, she has been using her experience in community nutrition to consult with private businesses to help individuals and families live a healthier lifestyle.

Brehm FBLA attends conference

The FBLA (Future Leaders of America), a newly chartered club this year on campus at Brehm School, attended the 57th Annual Southern Area Conference on Thursday, Jan. 13.

Eleven members attended and eight members took part in the competition portion of the conference.

Students were given a choice from a wide variety of competitive events to choose from. All events were related to Business and Business Procedures. The competition consisted of events from computer generated tests to public speaking.

The Brehm students, all dressed in business attire, made a great showing for our school. More than 500 students showed up for the conference. Nineteen schools from the southern half of Illinois were represented.

The students participated in activities where they were able to get to know other students from all the other schools. Out of all of the competitors we had one student who placed third in the Business Law field - Stephen T. CONGRATULATIONS STEPHEN!!!

The students are looking forward to going to the State Conference which will be held March 25-26 in Decatur, IL.

The members are going to be doing fundraising activities in order to raise the money in order for them to be able to attend. For more information about Brehm's FBLA, please contact Mary Hart at mhart@brehm.org.

Five key ways to avoid a power struggle with your teenager

By Theresa Miller, Director of Residential Life,

Brehm Preparatory School

Have you asked your teenager to complete a simple chore and somehow ended up with your darling angel yelling, slamming doors, with giant teardrops falling? Somewhere in the middle of that exchange some key elements played out.

You were hooked into a power struggle with your teenager. It is OK, it happens to us all. Although, we all recognize that power struggles occur, if you know what to look for, you may avoid a big one! Most kids escalate on some type of continuum. Recognizing these five key points may help you avoid getting into a power struggle with your teenager!

The first key in avoiding a power struggle is to remember that it takes two to create one. If you do not engage in the struggle, it will not occur.

As difficult as it may be at times, remember, it is not personal! Teenagers know exactly what buttons to push and how to get a rise out of you. They are trying to avoid whatever it is you are asking of them. If they get you hooked on something else, it no longer is about what you asked. You must remember that neither one of you will feel good about the interaction if you allow yourself to get off topic and get in a power struggle.

As adults, we must remember that it is our job to model appropriate ways to navigate difficult situations. What better way to show your teenager how to deal with difficult situations than by keeping your cool in a difficult situation? Parents should stay calm (we all know that can be very difficult at times) and address the issue at hand in a calm but firm manner. If it continues, set limits and disengage. If you are able to remain calm, the power struggle never occurs!

The second key in avoiding the continuum of escalation is when your teenager starts the basic questioning tactic, “Why do I have to sweep the floor," “Where is the broom.” These are reasonable questions and deserve a reasonable answer. Your teenager may have swept the floor ten times and you feel they know exactly where the broom is. However, it is important, especially with kids that may have some learning disabilities, to answer the questions consistently and with a reasonable answer. If you respond to these questions with provocative statements such as, “because I told you to, or because I said so,” it may be the catalyst for a power struggle. The goal is to get them to complete the task, not engage in a verbal volleyball session with you!

The third step in the continuum is those challenging questions that seem to get the power struggles started. Comments such as, “You can’t make me,” “What are you going to do,” or “Why don’t you do it.” As much as we would like to say, “because I told you to,” or, “I do enough around here; you need to do something,” the goal is to get the task done, and for both sides to feel good about the interaction! When your teenager becomes non-compliant, it is important to set limits.

The key to setting limits is to make sure you keep the directives clear, simple, reasonable, and fair. Obviously, “Do it, or your grounded until you are 18,” is not really reasonable or fair. You may feel like it is in the moment, but is your teenager really going to be grounded until they are 18? I don’t think so! A more productive response may be, “You can have some free time when you finish sweeping the floors.” Then walk away! You have now placed the free time in your teenager’s hands. They get to do the fun things when they finish sweeping the floor. They are making the choice!

The fourth key to avoiding power struggles is not what you say, but how you say it! How you frame things can help kids appreciate what you need from them.

For example, “Sweep the floor, NOW!” is very direct and does not allow your teenager to feel like they have any control over the situation. Another approach might be to say, “Would you prefer to sweep the floor or mop?” This allows your teenager to make choices and participate in the decision making.

Also, using “I” messages can help frame things for your teenager. For example, “I need you to sweep the floor, so I can get dinner ready for us.” If the interaction continues to escalate, use this communication model: I feel _____________ because ________________. So, I need you to ______________. This model helps to structure what your feelings are, the reasons for the feelings (specific to behaviors or situation), and what you need to happen to get it resolved. This is a perfect opportunity to model effective communication for your teenager!

The fifth key to avoiding power struggles is to be consistent! All kids want predictability! They want to know what to expect. If you give in and allow teenagers to skip doing chores because you do not want the argument, guess what? You will be doing those chores until they head off to college. As difficult and as challenging as it may be in the moment, being consistent will help teenagers make positive choices and feel good about themselves in the long run! It will only take a couple of times of implementing consequences, before teenagers realize it is easier to just do the task!

Recognizing these five keys may not eliminate all the power struggles with your teenager, but it will certainly help! None of us are perfect! Remembering that it takes two for a power struggle to happen, will help you disengage. Answering reasonable questions with reasonable answers will assist in keeping the interaction calm. Setting limits will let your teenager know what could happen. Recognizing how you frame directions will teach effective communication and allow your teenager to be part of the process. Finally, being consistent will decrease the escalating interactions because they just aren’t that much fun anymore!

Theresa Miller is the Director of Residential Life at Brehm Preparatory School in Carbondale, Illinois. She has more than fifteen years experience working with adolescents; the majority as the Associate Administrator for a licensed residential children’s home. Before working in residential care, she worked with victims and witnesses of violent crime (children and adults) at the Jackson County State’s Attorney’s Office and also in the Investigations Unit at the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office. She has a Master’s Degree in Education and has served on many boards, task forces, and committees throughout the region that address adolescent issues and concerns. Theresa was the recipient of the Minerva Award in 2007 (an award given to a female in the community for outstanding community service and leadership). She received instructor certifications and taught through the Illinois State Police Training and Standards Board and the Non-Violent Physical Crisis Prevention Institute. In addition, she has successfully completed Conflict Resolution Training, Leadership Training, and other supervisory training courses.

Alumnus represents Brehm/OPTIONS in College Fair

On Friday, December 3, 2010, Assistant Director of Admissions Richard Ventura was accompanied by Brehm and OPTIONS alumnus and Atlanta native, Natalie Pereless, to the post-secondary fair at Mill Springs Academy in Alpharetta, Georgia. OPTIONS was an exhibitor in the fair.

Both Richard and Natalie represented OPTIONS, answered questions and handed out literature to those in attendance - 100-125 students and their families.

“Being asked to represent OPTIONS was a tremendous honor," Richard stated. “It was exciting to see Natalie interact with the students at the fair. As an alumnus, she was able to give them the insight about the OPTIONS program that they were looking for.”

The event was hosted by Susan Day, director of counseling at Mill Springs Academy. Susan invited OPTIONS to exhibit at the fair after meeting an OPTIONS representative at the CHADD conference held earlier this month in Atlanta, Georgia.

OPTIONS (Optimizing Potential Through Individualized, On-going, Nurtured Successes) Program at Brehm is a comprehensive transitional program for students with learning disabilities who have graduated from high school, earned their GED, or who have chosen to defer graduation in order to participate in a transitional program.

Coats donated to basketball players

E.T. Simonds Construction Company donated coats for the Brehm Prep Basketball players.

Thank you E.T. Simonds Construction Company!

Brehm helps Boy Scout Troop 66 earn vintage merit badge

Boy Scout Troop 66 of Carbondale, Ill., recently visited Brehm to utilize the school's fully-equipped workshop to earn carpentry badges.

In the last 99 years, there have been many changes in the Boy Scout merit badge offerings. As society has changed, the Boy Scouts of America has adapted by revising the requirements, implementing name changes, adding new merit badges, and in some instances, eliminating some badges altogether.

For the 100th Anniversary Celebration, four vintage merit badges are being released for the centennial celebration year only, giving Boy Scouts the hands-on opportunity to experience the exciting past of Scouting while learning how the world has changed in that 100 years.

The historical merit badges (carpentry, pathfinding, signaling and tracking) will count toward a Scout’s rank advancement. However, Scouts must start and finish all requirements within the year 2010. After December 31, 2010, these merit badges will go back on the “retired” list.

The boys of Troop 66 took advantage of the opportunity to earn the retired carpentry badge by using tools and equipment at Brehm School to help them.

Troop 66 was chartered in 1960 with First United Methodist Church in Carbondale.